Inhabiting Today

Your job today is to make a decision. Identify one thing you've been wanting to do, but just haven't gotten to, and decide to do it.

Then, get started: take the first step. Want to write a book? Pen the first page. Want to get in shape? Take your first jog. Want to get a job? Fill out applications.

Whatever it is you want to achieve, start now. And keep at it. Every day. Tomorrow, write the next page or chapter, go the (literal or figurative) extra mile, follow up on your applications.

Keep at it and never give up.

Because giving up is the same as settling for mediocre or status quo -- and that's not how life is inhabited.

Further inspiration:

"But time has wings . . .

. . . and thus they flee, the years."

Petrarch's Poem 30

Are you amazed at the nearness of summer's end?

Only about a month, and the season that's anticipated and romanticized as much as Christmas is as a holiday will be over. Leaves will start turning colors and carpeting the ground, blanketing grass in preparation for winter. School will open again, forcing kids into what many imagine is the worst torture ever developed -- algebra.

And before there's time to soak up any of that, the snow will melt, the sun will return, and spring will arrive, with blossoms and shoots and baby animals (obviously, the most important part).

Time has wings and, boy, does it fly.

But what are you gonna do? You can't slow it down or multiply it. No matter how well you learn algebra, you won't be able to change its speed. All you can do is work to get the best out of it.

How?

Think. Prioritize. Decide.

What do you like? What's important to you? What does your schedule look like?

If you need help with this, click here.

Keep it balanced.

Remember that while it's important to invest in yourself -- and, indeed, you must in order to properly invest in others -- your life does not exist for you. You are not #1. Getting the most out of time must involve giving time to others, as well as to yourself.

Do nothing half-heartedly. And take advantage of the available opportunities.

The most rewarding things come when you throw yourself into the work -- whether a job, project, or relationship.

Focus. Be diligent. And hold nothing back. It's not always easy, but with time (which flies) you'll reap rewards -- including better sleep and improved math skills.

Assume Nothing

A bell tinkles, announcing a customer's entry.

A glance gives you enough to profile him: black-rimmed glasses + purple v-neck + skinny jeans = anything vegetarian.

You take quick stock of your veggies, decide what to suggest, and step into view.

"How's it going?" you ask, grabbing a pen and an order slip.

"Not bad," he says, scanning the menu. "Can I get the Godfather?"

Shock jolts your system as images of mob bosses, bloody horseheads, and layers of salami, pepperoni, and ham swirl in your head around the face of this very small, extremely pleasant, soft-spoken man.

The shock isn't his fault -- it's yours, for assuming he was like every other man his age who dresses the way he does. This is what you get for assuming, for drawing boxes around people based on what you see.

You shouldn't assume anything -- especially when it comes to people.

Think about yourself. Have you ever had expectations pinned on you -- the kind that have nothing to do with social or academic achievements, but have everything to do with who you are and with what you do?

Have you ever felt burdened or tied down by the ideas others have about you -- to continue dressing like a tomboy or keep hating football -- when what you really want to do is grow and change?

By assuming things about others, you are doing the same to them -- and if they're conscious of it, you may be causing them to hesitate from personal growth.

Ongoing intro. In books, characters are gradually introduced by what they say and what they do. As the story goes on, they do and say more so you, the reader, get to know them better.

Let real people introduce themselves to you the same way.

Don't draw lines that don't exist. Don't "learn" things about them that they haven't taught. See each person as the three-dimensional human being they are -- and let them stand for themselves.

Expect surprises and leave room for growth. Just because he dresses like one crowd doesn't mean he can't eat like a boss. And just because you like T-shirts doesn't mean you can't do heels or a skirt.

People are always changing, gaining new interests, and exploring different things. Do it yourself and you'll be less surprised when you find that others do the same.

Don't assume. Leave room for change.

completed

Monday, you put laundry in the washer.

Tuesday, you picked up flowers for a new garden.

Wednesday, you pulled out a bucket and sponge to wash the car, but never got to the soap and water.

Thursday, you picked up a new tire for your bike and subsequently leaned it against the garage.

Friday, you remembered Monday's laundry and rewashed the load because of its funky new smell.

It happens to everyone: you start something with every intention of seeing it to completion. Then, somewhere along the way, you get distracted, think of something "more important" to do, and leave the partially completed project behind.

You still want to finish it, but . . . now's just not the right time.

Stop. Right. There.

If now's not the right time, then identify what is.

Think it through: how long should it take? Will weather be an issue? Figure it out and then plan exactly when you'll work on it.

If you can complete it in one day, do so.

Don't break it up between days and weeks, unless it's an enormous project, like cleaning out the attic. And if it's something like that, break it into chunks large enough to take a significant amount of time, but small enough to take no more than a day.

Prepare.

Before you begin, identify and gather what you'll need. Having all necessary supplies at the beginning will help motivate you to start. If you find you've missed something, do as much as you can without and then get it so you can finish your project.

Stay on task. Finish what you've started. Quit letting the laundry rot.

On a Limb

When you leave the place you spent most of your life -- the place where you have a history tying you to others -- when you find yourself surrounded by strangers, a realization hits you: friendship is ridiculously hard. Especially when you're starting from scratch.

At this point, you have to make a decision: either do nothing and take what life throws all by your lonesome self, or take a chance, put yourself out there, and possibly make the greatest friends you've ever had.

If you want to inhabit life, doing nothing isn't an option. What's needed, then, is a starting point.

First, talk to strangers.

This does not mean when a homeless man asks you for money, you ask him how he ended up on the streets and go on to tell him how you managed to dodge the streets and become a stock broker with multiple fancy cars and a home bigger than the White House.

Rather, converse with the barrista at your favorite coffee shop or with other people in line. Become a regular at a place you like and get to know the employees and other regulars. Find where people gather -- libraries, parks, etc. -- and join in.

Second, get involved.

Find community programs and benefits that interest you and join a couple. Make your existence known to the people you're living near. Stop being a fly on the wall. Start using your talents and skills to help others. Take time to get to know them in the process.

Friendship can't happen unless you have acquaintances, so make many acquaintances.

Third, take interest in others.

Your intentions can't be completely selfish. Yes, you want to be friends, but friendship is a two-way street. You can't expect a friendship to form and last if you don't care about the other person.

Once you've identified people you'd like to be friends with, demonstrate your interest by asking them about themselves. Start with the surface level, like hobbies and interests. As time passes and trust grows, you'll be able to go deeper and deal with the real stuff..

New friendship requires a willingness to go out on a limb without knowing whether the apple's good or rotten. But just as there are many fish in the pond, there are also many apples, limbs, and trees. In time, you'll be sure to pick a ripe one.

Just make sure they know you don't plan on biting.

a definition of beauty

Invest in Life

There is a reason you think. There is a reason your lungs soak up oxygen and your heart pumps blood through your veins.

Every day that you open your eyes is a day you can't start over. Don't waste it.

Take what you've been given -- time, resources, talents -- and invest in life.

You were not given a beating heart to accent a dull, tuneless life. Your heart is beating to join in the rhythm of the waves, add to the whistling of the wind, and play a part in the symphony of life that surrounds you.

Join in.

Take stock of what you have: 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Decide what's important to you. Start living.

Be the stone that starts the ripples -- not the boulder at the edge of the pond.

Step One: Evaluate your schedule and routine.

Map out your week hour by hour, marking what time is taken for work and other responsibilities and nonnegotiables. Plan specific times for other important things, like family and sleep. Note the empty spaces.

Step Two: Think through your interests and decide what to pursue.

Depending on your point in life, this may be very easy or very hard. If it's very hard, visit a library and venture into the non-fiction, Dewey-decimaled section. Look for Idiot's Guides to . . . well, everything.

Once you have a few ideas of what you'd like to try, evaluate your resources and choose what works with them. (Tip: Think creatively.) Work these things into three to five of your schedule's empty spaces.

Step Three: Leave some blanks.

In your schedule -- not on people's faces.

These remaining blanks are for extra time to yourself, with others, or in creative and enriching pursuits. No Facebook or World of Warcraft allowed.

If someone gives you a blank look, tell them you're avoiding a midlife crisis by exploring the adventure of life. Pay attention to their reaction and share it in a comment.

If It's the Inside that Counts. . .

. . . then stop caring so much about the outside.

Yes, you should have good hygiene. Yes, your clothes should fit and match.

But, no, your appearance should not consume you.

When you get up in the morning, you should be thinking about what you can do to make this day the best yet -- not what you can do to make yourself the best-dressed.

3 Tips to Lowering Concern for the Outer Appearance

1. Turn around or cover all of your mirrors.

You can tell without a mirror whether your clothes fit and match, or not. And makeup is rarely required for the job. If you have unruly hair, keep a portion of the bathroom mirror uncovered -- and only stand in front of it long enough to put your locks in place.

Keep your mirrors out of sight for at least a week. Use the time you'd normally spend on your appearance for something else, like learning a new dance step or cleaning the shower.

2. Stop reading fashion magazines.

Sure, you can play it off as enjoying beauty, but all that "beauty" impacts your self-image. And probably not in the best of ways.

Instead of spending time examining the glossed-up images of others, find ways to enjoy the body you've been given.

Pick up a new exercise routine, find a group to play a few games of volleyball or frisbee with. Even if you have zero experience and skill, you can enjoy these things. You may even discover talent you didn't know you had.

3. Work on your insides.

And this is meant in the least gross of ways.

Think about who you are, how you treat others, and identify ways you can improve. Maybe you find yourself judging people or writing them off without giving them a fighting chance. Maybe your thoughts horrify you and you wish they'd just shut up.

If you're going to criticize yourself, then do it constructively on the things that matter -- not on your appearance, which in ten years will be outdated and in twenty years will be coated with wrinkles.