Assume Nothing

A bell tinkles, announcing a customer's entry.

A glance gives you enough to profile him: black-rimmed glasses + purple v-neck + skinny jeans = anything vegetarian.

You take quick stock of your veggies, decide what to suggest, and step into view.

"How's it going?" you ask, grabbing a pen and an order slip.

"Not bad," he says, scanning the menu. "Can I get the Godfather?"

Shock jolts your system as images of mob bosses, bloody horseheads, and layers of salami, pepperoni, and ham swirl in your head around the face of this very small, extremely pleasant, soft-spoken man.

The shock isn't his fault -- it's yours, for assuming he was like every other man his age who dresses the way he does. This is what you get for assuming, for drawing boxes around people based on what you see.

You shouldn't assume anything -- especially when it comes to people.

Think about yourself. Have you ever had expectations pinned on you -- the kind that have nothing to do with social or academic achievements, but have everything to do with who you are and with what you do?

Have you ever felt burdened or tied down by the ideas others have about you -- to continue dressing like a tomboy or keep hating football -- when what you really want to do is grow and change?

By assuming things about others, you are doing the same to them -- and if they're conscious of it, you may be causing them to hesitate from personal growth.

Ongoing intro. In books, characters are gradually introduced by what they say and what they do. As the story goes on, they do and say more so you, the reader, get to know them better.

Let real people introduce themselves to you the same way.

Don't draw lines that don't exist. Don't "learn" things about them that they haven't taught. See each person as the three-dimensional human being they are -- and let them stand for themselves.

Expect surprises and leave room for growth. Just because he dresses like one crowd doesn't mean he can't eat like a boss. And just because you like T-shirts doesn't mean you can't do heels or a skirt.

People are always changing, gaining new interests, and exploring different things. Do it yourself and you'll be less surprised when you find that others do the same.

Don't assume. Leave room for change.